Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal Communication

I will also explain non verbal's in attempting detect deception and how difficult and complex nonverbal communication can be without understanding (context) of the situation you are in. I have studied nonverbal communication from a very young age, I grew up in a culture very different from my own. I did not have a good understanding of the language at that time so many times I would watch and pay very close attention to the persons body language. This helped me to know if I was in red, yellow or green and what their thoughts and possible intentions would be when I was interacting with them. During that time my martial arts brother Philip and I and many of our students from the martial arts school we ran in Boston's Chinatown would go to one of the movie houses in Chinatown, either Star, China Cinema or Pagoda on a Friday or Saturday night and watch one of the new Gung Fu movies that came out of Hong Kong every week by the famous Shaw brothers. Philip would ask me "Tony how do you know what is going on?" At that time the movies were not dubbed in English as they are today? "By their body language I explained to him," the actors body language was so over exaggerated it was easy for me to follow. One of the actors in many of the movies at that time was a unknown Hong Kong actor named Jackie Chan, who knew.

I spent as much time as possible at the Boston Public Library reading every book I could find on body language. The more I read and researched on this subject the more confused I became. It seemed I understood nonverbals better before I began researching and reading books. Every person who wrote a book had their own spin on what this expression meant or did not mean, it was all very confusing. I started over, studying, researching and being trained by the very best in this field. Additional articles will be posted on nonverbal communications on my articles link and how I use nonverbal communication in the work I do.

I will explain the empirical research behind nonverbal communications (body language) explaining what is fact and what is fiction. I hope this page will give you a better understanding of nonverbal communications and the vital role it plays in understanding human behavior. 

Body language / nonverbal communication is a very accurate diagnostic tool when you understand how the human brain deals with a positive, stressful or threatening situation. The old terminology for describing the human brain was left brain / right brain. In 1952, a scientist named Paul MacLean began to speak of the human brain as a "triune brain" consisting of three brains working together as a command and control center.

They are:

Reptilian (stem) brain
Mammalian (limbic) brain
Neo Cortex (human) brain

The "Limbic" mammalian brain plays the largest role in the expression of nonverbal behavior. This part of the brain acts like a radar system that is on seven days a week. When the limbic brain experiences a positive, negative or threatening situation it leaks this information in the form of body language tells/cues congruent with those feelings, positive & negative. These body language cues are expressed instantaneously and without thought. These expressions manifest physically in our faces, our eyes, forehead, mouth, neck, etc. Our torso, arms, hands, fingers, etc. Also in our feet and legs.

The old and outdated terminology still used to this day was called the "fight or flight" response this is half right and somewhat backwards. The brain's response to any threatening situation takes three forms, the FREEZE, FLIGHT, FIGHT response. When one response is found to be inadequate, the limbic system will move quickly to the next response, until the system feels the threat has passed. The body language "tells/cues" that follow will tell us which response the limbic system has chosen to defend itself, and has returned the body back into a safe and secure frame of mind. The nonverbal behaviors that follow will help us to understand a person's thoughts, feelings, and intentions. The limbic system / brain is called our true brain. Why? it is the part of our brain that reacts to the world around us reflexively and instantaneously, in real time without thought and is the most accurate when detecting body language tells/cues. These limbic survival responses go back to our ancestry as a human species. These responses are hardwired into our nervous system, making them difficult to disguise or eliminate.

The "Neo-cortex" or human brain is our thinking, creative brain. The Neo-cortex is analytical. It thinks before it acts or speaks. It is capable of deception and it can lie, and it lies often.

Example: Your slightly over weight friend asks you, "How do you like my new bright yellow dress with the big poker dots? You answer, "gee look's great on you." In reality, you wanted to say something very different. Your analytical brain came up with a quick "Pro- Social" white lie, so you do not hurt your friend's feelings. The micro eye blocking expression flashed on your face, or the compressed lips just to name a few, before you opened your mouth expressed your true feelings of, "oh my God what the hell is she wearing!"

True emotions are always expressed in body language cues before words and actions. (Navarro & Scahafer, 2003,22-24)

In the 1800's Darwin stated that there were six emotions that were universal to all cultures. They are:

ANGER
JOY
SADNESS
SURPRISE
FEAR
DISGUST

In 1980 Dr. Paul Ekman, Ph.D added,

CONTEMPT

These emotions are expressed in all humans from the day they are born. Dr. Ekman studied the forty two facial muscles and their movement when emotions were felt and expressed. He stated humans can express over ten thousand (10,000) different expressions. Three thousand that are relevant to emotion. Most we will never see. In a typical conversation we will see less than one hundred (100). Only a third of those will be relevant to emotion. These expressions are flashed in 1/25 of a second called, a micro expression. These expressions will reveal themselves prior to a more contrived expression. When a micro expression is detected, it does not tell you what the person is being deceptive about.
It only tells us that their facial expressions, words and body language nonverbal tells/cues are not congruent with the picture he/she is trying to project. A contrived expression lacks "synchrony."

Dr. Ekman's work in developing F.A.C.S., Facial- Action- Coding System, is a highly accurate diagnostic tool in helping profiler's and law enforcement personnel in detecting micro expressions in a personality when they are put or are in a stressful situation. These emotions or expressions should not be in variance with the picture being presented to you, or before the fake emotion, the mask the personality wants you to believe they are feeling, is shown. All cues must be taken in the context of the situation you are in.

The next time someone says to you that nonverbal behavior does not have meaning or is not reliable, the U.S. Supreme Court decision (Terry v. Ohio, 1968, 392 U.S. 1) acknowledged that nonverbal behaviors presage criminality if those behaviors are observed and decoded properly. This landmark decision was based on the quick thinking of a thirty nine year old Detective, Martin McFadden. In 1963, he watched the nonverbal behavior of two men who he believed were about to rob a store. When Officer McFadden moved in and patted the two men down he found a concealed hand gun. (Terry v. Ohio, 1968, 392 U.S. 1) provided a clear demonstration of the relationship between our thoughts, intentions, and nonverbal behaviors. (Navarro & Scahafer, 2003, 22-24)

Primacy of Reactions

I have read many articles over the years on detecting deception. The body language (tells) expressions that will make you a human lie detector. I can tell you point blank that much of the information you will read is misinformation and some are spinning the same old misconceptions with no researched findings on how to detect deception via body language (tells) and expressions.

 Detecting deception is very difficult even for the professionals who have trained in and have years experience in the discipline. So before you look at a persons body language (tell) and think this person is lying based on that faulty information take time to think and analyze the "context" of the situation you are in. Look for changes to their base line behavior when you are talking and asking sensitive questions. You want to see clusters of behaviors (tells) that will have you go back and ask additional questions that flagged you during that part of the interview. I would hate to have you label someone a liar because you saw him/her rub their nose or looked away.

Primacy of Reactions, true emotions are always expressed before words and actions. When words or actions are expressed before emotions this is an indication that the personality is, for what ever the reason being, is trying to deceive you into believing that what you are seeing or hearing is a true and accurate expression of their emotions. This is not the case.

The limbic brain is our honest brain when it comes to nonverbal communication. The limbic brain reacts to both positive and negative stimuli in real time and without thought. That is why it is called the "honest brain." The first emotion/expression flashed on a persons face or expressed in other parts of the body, hands, arms, legs, feet in response to a visual or verbal stimuli is their true thoughts and feelings. Many times these nonverbal expressions are flashed on a persons face in one twenty fifth of a second called a micro expression. These micro expressions are very hard to detect without training. Longer expressions that last two to four seconds are called a macro expressions these are very obvious non verbal (tells) and are meant to be obvious. Some personalities are very good at masking their facial expressions and express very little. When these personalities are concentrating on masking their facial expressions they forget the other parts of their body that will leak their true thoughts, feelings and intentions. 

It is very important to take all nonverbal expressions (tells) in the context of the situation you are in.

When you are unsure of an expression look at the situation you are in, is the personality displaying comfort or are they displaying discomfort in your interaction. Nonverbal communication is very binary. All personalities unless they have a medical issue of some sort, will display either comfort or discomfort displays and will pacify themselves accordingly.

It is always important to acquire a base line of the personality you are interacting with. How do they act when in a relaxed or in a state of comfort. Then we would watch for a change in their behavior. The limbic brain will ask to be pacified when in discomfort, you will see a cluster of behaviors, such as rubbing the hands, neck, face, leg, hair, etc. In response to the negative stimuli. This does not mean the person is lying, only the question, conversation or action is causing them discomfort in some way. The limbic brain will respond very quickly and without thinking about it. When the limbic brain is in a state of comfort you may also see the same cluster of behaviors, only these pacifying behaviors are in response to a positive stimuli and these pacifying behaviors will heighten the pleasurable experience, a positive pacifier. 

It is very important to remember that the "Primacy of Reactions" are always the most accurate when trying to decode what the personality is thinking, feeling and intending.

When describing nonverbal communication/behaviors there are words that sound different but mean the same thing. I will explain these words and their meanings to you now to avoid confusion. There are certain words that have very specific meanings which I will explain to you as we go along. I use the word "tell/tells." Because these nonverbal behaviors "tell" us about the person's true state of mind, what the body is telling and expressing /communicating to us. The word "cue" also means the same thing, what the body is "cueing" us in on. Many times you will see words in books or hear different terminology in a video or TV show when a body language expert is explaining body language behaviors and they use different terminology. The words used sound different but their meanings are the same. Body language experts will use their own terminology such as: adaptors, manipulators, tells, cues, gestures, postures, etc.

Nonverbal communication/ body language is a means of transmitting information, just like a spoken word except, it is achieved through facial expressions, gestures, touching (haptics), physical movements (kinesics) posture, body adornments (cloths, jewelry, hairstyle, tattoos). The tone and volume of an individual's voice, (rather than the spoken content). Nonverbal communication comprise approximately sixty to eighty percent of all interpersonal communication. (Burgoon, 1994, 229-285) (Navarro, 2007, 4-5)

Freeze, Flight, Fight response. The limbic systems elegant protocol. 

The limbic system our emotional brain does not reason nor rationalize. It reacts to the world around us in real time. The prime directive of the limbic system is to ensure our survival as a species. The limbic system has a very elegant protocol that has kept us alive and out of danger and is programed in each and everyone of us since the day we are born. This limbic response to distress or a threatening situation takes on three forms: the freeze, flight, fight response. This protocol has has helped us to survive as a species and is hard wired into our nervous system. You may have heard people call it is the fight or flight response. This is half correct and somewhat backwards. If we fought first we would be to battered and worn to run from the danger facing us. 

The first limbic response when exposed to a threatening situation is to "freeze," why? Movement attracts attention. Example: many of the children who survived the Columbine and Virginia Tech shootings survived by playing dead "freezing." The killer/killers walked right by them thinking they were already dead. Their limbic brain made them "freeze" and play dead, this limbic response saved many lives. The freeze response is also called "the deer in the headlight look" have you ever come across a herd of deer in the roadway early in the morning? The first thing you will notice is they all look up and stare at you for a second, then they all run off in a split second. The second protocol. The flight response. Sadly, children who are being abused will manifest these freezing limbic behaviors when in the presence of an abusive adult. The children's arms will go dormant by their sides and they will avoid eye contact thinking this helps them not to be seen. A tactic called "hiding in the open" a survival tool for these helpless children. 

The second limbic response when the "freeze" response is not adequate enough to eliminate the danger is the "flight" response, to run and escape from the danger facing us. This response can be very obvious such as someone running from a threatening situation as we saw when the buildings collapsed during the 911 attacks. Or these "tells" can be very subtle such as turning our heads or bodies away from someone or something that is undesirable. Have you ever met someone for the first time on a date or business meeting and you did not like him/her? You may have acted polite but your body will turn away from that person ever so slightly. Sitting or standing will make no difference. This distancing behavior however so slight is the limbic system's "flight" response to an unfavorable person or situation.

The third limbic response when the first two responses are not adequate enough and the only alternative left is the "fight" response. In our evolution as a species we as well as animals developed a strategy of turning fear into rage and aggression to "fight" off attackers (panksepp, 1998, 208). This response can take on many forms and expressions, from physical aggression and fighting which is not the socially acceptable or a legal way of dealing with other people in todays society. So a modern form of aggression or "fighting" is argument. An over heated argument is "fighting" by nonphysical means. The use of insults, goading and sarcasm are all the modern equivalent of fighting. (Navarro 2008, 33) Court rooms are filled everyday with people fighting and aggressively arguing two opposing viewpoints. 
This elegant protocol called the freeze, flight, fight response will help you to accurately decode what a person is thinking, feeling or intending. To decode nonverbal tells you must be a competent observer of your environment and to decode nonverbal gestures "tells" based on the context of the situation you are in. 

Comfort/discomfort and pacifying behaviors.

The limbic system is programed to make us secure by avoiding danger or "discomfort" and seeking safety and "comfort." Nonverbal behaviors can be very binary. You or the personality you are engaged with is either in a state of "comfort" (well being, relaxed, not in a state of stress). Or in a state of "discomfort" (stressed, worried, in fear, feeling very uncomfortable or uneasy). The limbic system "leaks" this information in the form of body language tells/behaviors called "pacifiers." These "pacifying behaviors," will be congruent with those feelings either positive "comfort" or negative "discomfort."

It is very important to remember that when you are attempting to decode nonverbal behaviors you must decode the nonverbal "tells/cues" according to the context of the situation you are in. 

This is the prime reason why there is so much confusion when people are attempting to decode nonverbal behaviors and are confused to there meaning. This is why "context" is such a very important rule to remember. One "tell" is not the same for all situations.

For example: you may read or hear that a person who is rubbing their ear or touching their face is a sign of stress or even worse, is lying. This is not the case at all, first what is the "context" of the situation you are in? 

If it is a social setting and the person is exhibiting other nonverbal behaviors that are congruent with "comfort?" This would be considered a "positive pacifier."
The personality is enjoying the experience and the "pacifying behaviors" are heightening their experience by releasing very powerful brain peptides Dopamine and Oxytocin by touching or "pacifying" themselves. On the flip side of the coin, if you see these very same nonverbal behaviors when the personality is under a stressful situation such as a job interview, meeting a date for the first time, answering questions regarding a situation they were involved in, etc. These same "pacifying behaviors," are the limbic systems response to a stressful situation and the "pacifying behaviors" seen are a sign of "discomfort" or a negative "pacifier." The same brain peptides are being released by the limbic system in an effort to calm the personality down and to restore the personality/ body to a state of comfort again.

Two hard and fast rules when decoding nonverbal behaviors is, "what is the context of the situation you are in?" Have you identified a "base line" pattern when the person is in a state of comfort. I would pay close attention to a change in their "base line" behavior. I would take note of that change and would want to know why. Remember, "a change in behavior is a change in their reality." It does not mean the person is being deceitful. It is telling me that a change has taken place and I would go back to that portion of the interaction and ask additional questions to understand why that change took place. Without "context" or a "base line" you will misread the "tells" that the body is telling/saying to you. Also one nonverbal "tell" is not enough to decode what the person is thinking, feeling or intending. You must decode clusters of nonverbal "tells" that show congruency with one another. Another rule to remember, is emotions are always expressed before words and actions. The limbic system is our emotional brain, it does not reason nor rationalize. It reacts to the world around us in real time without thought. Based on this understanding of our brains limbic system elegant protocol of "freeze, flight, fight" you can understand why the "primacy of reaction" is a very accurate statement. 

Nonverbal communication is a very accurate diagnostic tool when these nonverbal tells are decoded properly. I will have more information on nonverbal communication and how I use this diagnostic tool in the work I do that will be found on my articles page on this website.

Bibliography

• Ekman, P. (2003) Emotions Revealed. New York Times Books

• Ekman, P. (2009) Mett 2 Training Course

• Ekman, P. & O’Sullivan, M. (1991) Who Can Catch a Liar

• Joe Navarro & Marvin Karlins, Ph.D. (2008) What Every Body is Saying. Harper Collins

• Joe Navarro Non Verbal Communication Training Course

• Anna C. Salter, Ph.D. (2003) Predators by Basic Books a Perseus Books Group

• Christopher Dillingham, M.A. (2008) Dissecting Pinocchio Universe Books

• Kevin Hogan, Psy.D. Body Language (2005) Network 3000 Publishing